It was the time when there existed an Educational Department edict that everyone should be right-handed. There was even a rhyme that I and other lefties had to recite daily :
“If you write with the right hand,
You write with the right hand,
For the right hand’s the right hand,
With which you must write.
If you write with the left hand,
You write with the wrong hand,
For the right hand’s the right hand,
And we must do what’s right.”
The justification for this was that the left hand was the hand of the devil.
You have to grasp the logic behind this. The angel Lucifer had fallen from his position at God’s left hand. Judas Iscariot and Pontius Pilate and Adolf Hitler had all been left-handed, and so by assumption had all the other bad people of the world. Billy the Kid and Ned Kelly were certainly left-handed, so there couldn’t have been any doubt. In fact it was disputed by certain troublemakers that there was absolutely no evidence that Judas and Pontius and Adolf, nor even Lucifer, had been left-handed, but then, since all evil men were left-handed, then they must have been, mustn’t they?
It was plain enough that there would clearly be less evil in the world if everyone was right-handed. The religious leaders insisted upon it, and even though I attended a state school with no necessary religious affiliation, the Education Department saw no wisdom in defying Archbishops, especially in matters concerning mortal souls. I strove to save my soul, but in the end hurled my slate across the room in a tantrum of frustration, shattering the tablet and assuring the teachers that they had a problem child on their hands.