Nigel plunged ahead of you, all flailing arms and legs like a swimmer ploughing through an ocean of giant green waves. He passed Snowy Spargo who had Mabel all tangled in the vines.
 “Leave it!” Nigel roared, “Get moving, get out of here!”
But Snowy wasn’t leaving his beloved at such a time, he heaved mightily and went over on his bum, and you got there in time to help separate his thrashing limbs from the branches. Then he was clutching Mabel to his chest and crashing his way on, and you could be thankful for the path he cleared, falling and crawling and clawing your way on, down, out of here...

Khartoum, which is in Sudan, was the scene of the most lop-sided victory in all military history—several hundred thousand defeated by one man. The one man was General George Gordon, who originally led an expeditionary force to liberate Khartoum from the ruling Arab slave traders and was therefore greatly revered by the locals. But he was elsewhere when a charismatic leader named The Mahdi arose who massacred a Britsh led Egyptian force and threatened Khartoum. British PM Lloyd George (the one who knew my father) and his cabinet were reluctant to commit more troops to such a backwater, so they sent one man instead, George Gordon. And it worked—the Mahdi was so afraid of the consequences of killing the beloved Gordon that he hesitated to attack.
    Meanwhile in the streets of London, mass protesters demanded that Gordon be rescued. Gordon, of course, had no intention of being rescued by anybody. Eventually public pressure forced the UK govt to despatch Kitchener’s main army from Cairo, and as they descended the Nile, the Mahdi saw time was running out. He attacked the city, with firm orders that Gordon was not to be harmed. But zealots disobeyed him and Gordon was speared and beheaded.
    The result was as The Mahdi feared—when his followers saw Gordon’s head on a pike, they turned on their masters and slaughtered them and their invasion collapsed. Thus when Kitchener’s army arrived, they had nothing to do except collect Gordon’s body, except they never found the head. The most valuable skull in the world these days if you can find it.